Hosho McCreesh – A Deep & Gorgeous Thirst

ADeepandGorgeous-COVER SMALL Author Photo

Hosho McCreesh is a poet from Alburquerque, New Mexico. He has published many volumes of fine poetry, the latest and finest of which is “A Deep & Gorgeous Thirst”, an epic collection of bare knuckled and open hearted verse dedicated to the life affirming properties of getting rip roaring drunk. In the spirit of the great man’s work, he and I decided to hold a drunken shootout on Twitter, armed only with Trivial Pursuit questions and bottles of red. The results are below:

Russ Litten @RussLitten
8pm UK time, I’m having a Drinking Quiz with my pal @HoshoMcCreesh to celebrate his latest poetry collection “A Deep & Gorgeous Thirst.”

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Here’s the set-up. I ask a question; if Russ gets it, I drink; if he misses, he drinks! Then Russ asks a question…

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Countdown: 8 mins!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Just picked your quiz card out of the Trivial Pursuit box. A mixed bag of tricks awaits you.

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
3 min…You better have your drinking/thinking cap on!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Just poured a pre-match livener. Synapses slowly fizzing into life.

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Lucky for you I’m half-shitty after a chat with Ridgwell!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Yeah, get your excuses in early man!

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Pfff — even with your softballs, I’ll crush it. I’m Hosho Fucking McCreesh!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
We need a hashtag for this thing … #Drunkenshootout it is

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Is this the official thread?

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK champ, you want your first question? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
I’ve got some Heaven Hill poured and I’m ready to compete for god and country!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Yeah but use your hashtag man – #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Okay — I’m ready #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK, try this one … #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Which mountain range running north-south through Wstn Russia forms a natural border between Europe and Asia? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
(I’ll have a drink while you’re pondering) #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Jezus…how about: Um…The Himalayas?

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Sorry bud – it’s The Urals. Drink up! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I realise that was an unfair question for a US citizen #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Dammit! Okay. Drinking mine now. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
New slogan for Heaven Hill: When You Are Done Giving a Fuck.

Russ Litten @RussLitten
The fuckin Urals?!?! Sounds like a rest room. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
And it tastes like one too! Yours: What 2 countries are separated by the Bering Strait? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Oh … hang on ….. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
No Googling! Drink!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Russia and Somewhere Else. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Was I right? Russia and Somewhere Else?

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Everywhere is Russia and somewhere else! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Drink! What are you having? (It’s the U.S. by the by)

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I knew it was someplace I’d heard of …

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Very true. OK. I’m drinking …

Russ Litten @RussLitten
By the way, I am enjoying a rather robust red from the garage at the end of our street. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
So…a dead heat after one. What a rivalry! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK, I’ve quaffed and refuelled … next category – Entertainment … #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
It’s like the drunk leading the stoned …

Russ Litten @RussLitten
The bands Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Nirvana were part of a “scene” in which US City? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
*taps watch …..*

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Seattle. BOOM! Drink, mo-fo, drink!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Hang, one let me check the answer on the back … #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
…. yeah, it’s Seattle. Wherever that is. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Half past a monkey’s ass, a quarter to his balls. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I once had a bad dose of that up in Scotland

Russ Litten @RussLitten
My old man helped destroy Hull Cecil Cinema to that soundtrack #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
A tap-in there for the sozzled Yank Wordsmith ….. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Enough pillowtalk, Litten…bring it! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Seriously…that was bush league. And I’ll take it! Yours: What group starred in the movie Rock Around the Clock?

Russ Litten @RussLitten
BILL HALEY & THE MUTHAFUCKIN COMETS! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
<golf clap>

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Whatever. Everyone knows that. Bottoms up for this ol’ boy! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Raise that glass boyo! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
2 – 2 Somebody call the Times. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK, next category is “yellow”, traditionally a tricky one … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Everyone hates yellow. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Who became Germany’s first female chancellor in 2005? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Merkel! And she likely rocked a Merkin!

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Hang on, I’ve lost the fucking card … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
So I just wait here then…? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Full name, please. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Starts with and “A” Merkel! DRINK! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I CAN ONLY ACCEPT THE ANSWER THAT’S WRITTEN ON THE CARD!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
(why am I shouting) #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
It’s Angela…for posterity’s sake. And she rocked a decent posterity. Yeah, I said it! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Fair play man, I’m drinking here … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
You’re drunk. And losing to the YANK! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I may be drunk sir, but you are an American. And in the morning I will be sober. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Sour grapes. Come on over.I’ll buy you and In & Out Burger! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Sounds ace! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
3 – 2 for those keeping score. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Yours: What age followed the Bronze Age? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
It’s gotta be the Iron Age. Surely to Betsy. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
More like the Age of Obvious! Heaven Hill, here I come! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I thought for one moment of uncertainty that it could have been the Silver Age and then the Gold Age #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
“Silver and gold…silver and gold…” Yukon Cornelius #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
3 -3 we kick ass! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK, this next one is an English Literature question … hold onto your glass … #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Who was Bertie Wooster’s wise valet in P.G Wodehouse’s novels? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
That’s fucking easy. It was Heaven Hill, and I’m drinking! Stab in the dark: Jeeves? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
It was Jeeves?! DRINK!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
McCreesh with an AMAZING shot from the hip!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Course it was. As immortalised by Stephen Fry and that cartoon fella off the internet #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Also — no fair. Someone just posted a pic of boobies in my twitter feed…unfair distraction! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
That was my glamorous accomplice  #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Tell her I said thanks…she’s got a blouse full of goodies…but I’m spoken for, thanks! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
It was my Auntie Madge. She’s spoken for as well, but she gets weekends off. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Well, good. Lord knows she can’t traffic in inequity 7 days a week! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
She can barely manage one to be honest #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Yeah…but what a day it is! But seriously folks..where were we? Am I asking? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Are you asking what ?   oh yeah, it’s my question. I mean your question …. to ask me … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Why the fuck isn’t #Drunkenshootout trending? I blame the NSA.#Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
The Fucking Urals…I’d be winning this bitch if it wasn’t for them! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
We’re onto purple, aren’t we? #Drukenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
I’M GONNA PUNCH THE URALS IN THE FACE LIKE THEY WERE IVAN DRAGO!!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
How many volumes make up J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
How the fuck am I supposed to know that? Hippy books! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Twenty eight? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
No no no…28 is the number of days you wasted waiting in line for The Hobbit! DRINK!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Shit, OK … fucking Hobbit. May as well ask me about Jethro Tull and his fucking seed drill … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
“Sitting on the park bench!” El Lung de Aqua as they say around here… #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
I sure am thirsty. Maybe I should miss one just to get a taste? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I’VE GOT EVERY ALBUM THE FALL EVER RECORDED! I KNOW NOTHING OF THIS LORD OF THE RING! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
OK Bamber Gascoigne, get on this: What is a saluki? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
The saluki question is in the green category, if that’s of any help whatsoever … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
One of those poison Japanese Blow Fish? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Are you asking me or telling me? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
That depends if its correct… #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I must press the honourable gentleman for a definite answer …. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Suluki…what is “the reason I’m drinking some Heaven Hill right now!” DRINK LITTEN! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I’ll have a drink while you make your mind up … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Let’s ask the North Korean judges… #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
In case anyone is worried: it’s charcoal filtered…AND it’s 6 whole years old, so I think you know we’re dealing with the goods.

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
So I guess the name Hell Hill was already taken? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I once bought a 99p bottle of red called “Scraping The Barrell” I thought it would be a double bluff joke. It wasn’t.

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Boy if I had a nickel… #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Anyhoo, a SALUKI was an ancient breed of dog worshipped by Egyptians. QUAFF! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Worshipped…until times were tough…then it was EATEN!!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Thought to be the oldest domesticated breed … it says here … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
oldest domesticated breed…”to eat their own vomit and lick their balls til rapture” than is! #DogLover #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
What is the score at this late stage? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
You’re not keeping score?! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Who, me? I can’t count?!?! I’m numerically dyslexic. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
I’m a sporting man, so I’ll say the score is me 8, you 0. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Sounds about right. I only got Bill Hayley right, I think. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Sorry, my bad. 8 to 1. Yours: How many sides does a heptagon have? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
By the process of elimination I’m gonna say NINE #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
DRIIIIINK! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Fuck … Bamboozled by maths once again ..  #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Think of it this way: Math is dumb (unless you want to unlock the secrets of the universe)…& drinking! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Actually it’s a geometric shape with both sets of genitals! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I thought that was a dodecathedral #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
No no no — that’s the place they keep the crackers and the ball gag! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Right … here’s my last chance of dragging some dregs of dignity out of this drunken mess … #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Final question, Mr McCreesh …. #Drunkenshootout  …. here it comes … and it’s piss easy

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
“Ask me the questions gatekeeper, I’m not afraid!” #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
The green crocodile logo belongs to which clothing and apparel company? #Drunkenshootout  (I’m already drinking)

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
La Coste! Featured on the chests of douchebags the world over!!!!!  U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I got them all wrong on purpose because I like drinking. #Drunkenshootout  (!)

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I would have won if it wasn’t for Jethro Tull and his many sided crystal pendant #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Anyone who has stuck with us throughout, tell us the score! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I think anyone with any sense would have gone to the pub by now …. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Your last: What is the basic flavoring of Kahlua? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I FUCKIN KNOW THIS!!!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
..er ……. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Is it a nut? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Oh bollocks …. it’s a milky drink isn’t it? #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Cocoa? #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
You cokehead…that and everything else! Get off the marching powder, you’re breaking your mother’s heart! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Fuck knows. The cacao nut. The Walnut. The pistachio.  #Drunkenshootout  *finishes bottle

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
It’s coffee! Even my Mom knows that! U-S-A, U-S-A!!! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
I knew it began with C! Bollocks. Oh well. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Of course, my mom is a lush! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
The best moms always are. #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Let that be a lesson to you, moms of the world… #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
What can I say, Litten…you ran into a buzzsaw today. I was on fire…no one would’ve beat me. Don’t feel bad!#Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Well, i think i better go and lie down … #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Helluva good time, Russ. Buy this man’s books, everyone. He’s fucking ACE. Top drawer, buddy… top shelf. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Luckily I am blessed with an utter absence of competitive spirit. And I’m a pisshead. God Bless America! God Bless Hosho!

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
You’re a good man, Litten. Thanks for humoring the ignorant yank. #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
God Bless “A Deep And Gorgeous Thirst” Buy it now, Lit Fiends, or rot in dry hell forever! #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
In dirty, chaffed, blistered hell! #Drunkenshootout

Russ Litten @RussLitten
Loved every drop mate. I’m off to read the rest of your life affirming book. Good night God Bless x #Drunkenshootout

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Tell anyone who’ll listen. It’s got more heart than booze — and it has a fuckload of booze in it! As do you, my good man.

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
I will now take my leave of you, and begin my apologies to all here in the interest of salvaging the rest of this Saturday…

Hosho McCreesh @HoshoMcCreesh
Best from the high desert! H. #Drunkenshootout